Topic: Photographic insults.

[lharby]

Hopefully this will be a bit of fun.

When I was at art college, I heard loads of insults hurled at painters, sculptors and other creatives. But less so with photography, which I only got into later.

However here is one of my favourites.

• "Wow, you wasted 1/30th of a second on that"

Does anyone have more to offer? Either anecdotally or as part of personal experience.

[Chalky]

people constantly ask me why I bother with expired polaroid film with "funny" colours that don't look right....

[Late Developer]

I suspect that the following, which is more of a passing comment but is still quite insulting, is almost guaranteed to raise the hackles of any photographer:

"I bet that camera takes good photos" 

[MacArron]

I suspect that the following, which is more of a passing comment but is still quite insulting, is almost guaranteed to raise the hackles of any photographer:

"I bet that camera takes good photos" 

Or in other words:

"Good photo. What camera and lens did you use?" with the implicit meaning that the camera itself took the photo (because it was a professional camera) and you only pressed the button 

[Kai-san]

When people see that I'm carrying a camera, they always ask this question: 'Hi, did you shoot any nice pictures today?'

My standard reply is: 'No, I only shoot ugly pictures.'

[Late Developer]

I suspect that the following, which is more of a passing comment but is still quite insulting, is almost guaranteed to raise the hackles of any photographer:

"I bet that camera takes good photos" 

Or in other words:

"Good photo. What camera and lens did you use?" with the implicit meaning that the camera itself took the photo (because it was a professional camera) and you only pressed the button 

Exactly! Oh, "professional camera" is another absolute gem...... 

A few years ago, I got told I couldn't take my camera (a Nikon F3) into a gig because it was a "professional camera".  I tried to enlighten the Neanderthal wearing the DJ that a camera is only a tool and that "professional" simply implies that the user is being remunerated for their efforts - but he just stood there, lower mandible protruding, looking confused and then just reiterated the mantra about me not being able to take the camera into the venue because it was "professional". 

How the long winter evenings must fly by in his household....

[Francois]

And who hasn't had the "you take good photos, they're sharp." Ever said to them?
And the reverse also holds true "and you call this a good picture? It's not even sharp!"

[EarlJam]

A manager of mine once told me, "an artist has to be born with his talents; anyone can be taught to do what you do" (still and motion picture photography, cel and stop-motion animation, and film editing, amongst other things). If that's the case, Pierre Renoir must have been very disappointed with his son, Jean.

[EarlJam]

I suspect that the following, which is more of a passing comment but is still quite insulting, is almost guaranteed to raise the hackles of any photographer:

"I bet that camera takes good photos" 

On the flip side, a conversation I once had during my time behind the counter:

Customer: "what's the best camera you sell?"

Me: "well, we carry Canon, Nikon, and Olympus. They're all good, but some think that Nikon is the best of the bunch."

Customer: "Not Nikon. My brother has a Nikon and it takes terrible pictures."

[02Pilot]

One that's unintentionally insulting is "Wow, that looks like a post card!" I know the people who utter such statements are usually trying to be complimentary, but to most serious photographers that's tantamount to saying "Wow, that's a very pretty picture devoid of any artistic qualities, thought, or meaning."

[Indofunk]

How the long winter evenings must fly by in his household....

I thought this thread was about insults against photographers, not from them


One of the hardest-hitting insults I received was from my own father: "Son, I love you, but I just can't get into your pictures" 

This from the same man who when I was in high school asked me (regarding my trumpet playing) "Why do you keep practicing the same thing over and over again??"

He's .... not really into the arts, as you can tell 

[jharr]

One of the hardest-hitting insults I received was from my own father: "Son, I love you, but I just can't get into your pictures" 

This from the same man who when I was in high school asked me (regarding my trumpet playing) "Why do you keep practicing the same thing over and over again??"

He's .... not really into the arts, as you can tell 

Ah, fathers and sons...

When I was first starting to get into photography in the 80's, I decided to do so in black and white. My father, being a child of the 40's and 50's must have thought that it was some sort of relic of an antiquated past, better forgotten. I remember showing him some of my photos and his reply dripping with sarcasm and condescension, "Shot in glorious, living black and white!"

[Indofunk]

We could easily have a spinoff thread about snarky insults from fathers (or mothers I suppose)

[Pete_R]

"Where was that taken?" like it's just a record shot of where I've been

and

"It's very clever" an attempt at a compliment when what they really mean is "I don't like it".

Both of the above were my Mother's regular comments.

[Pete_R]

When people see that I'm carrying a camera, they always ask this question: 'Hi, did you shoot any nice pictures today?'

My standard reply is: 'No, I only shoot ugly pictures.'

Mine is "I'll let you know when I've looked at them" which usually confuses them.

[Sandeha Lynch]

Or ... "Is that how you wanted it to look?"

[Francois]

What I find is that people who don't understand usually don't intend to be mean with their comments.
For so many people the biggest quality of a picture is that you can actually recognize what's on it... it's a long education process that's needed.

[jojonas~]

I suspect that the following, which is more of a passing comment but is still quite insulting, is almost guaranteed to raise the hackles of any photographer:

"I bet that camera takes good photos" 

Or in other words:

"Good photo. What camera and lens did you use?" with the implicit meaning that the camera itself took the photo (because it was a professional camera) and you only pressed the button 

sorry to anyone I've commented with something like this on flickr. I'm just truly a camera and lens geek

[lharby]

My friend pointed out that most of the photos in Flickr Explore look like they've had plastic surgery.

[Late Developer]

My friend pointed out that most of the photos in Flickr Explore look like they've had plastic surgery.

Sounds familiar.  I haven't been into Flickr (or the Explore function) for a while.  The thing I noticed the last few times I was there was the amount of very obvious HDR images - over-saturated, over-sharpened, hugely contrasty and looking like some apocalyptic, migraine-induced nightmare pastiche of the original subject matter. 

Some of the comments are also interesting and it makes me wonder whether there's some ironic / sarcastic insults being made that the photographer is taking as genuine praise?

[Francois]

When I see pictures like that I always wonder what the inspiration was, Quake or Doom?

[SLVR]

I've had a lot of images explored, then subsequently dropped because there's something with higher saturation, higher contrast, cleaner noise. BIGGER isnt always better.

[Francois]

I wonder if I could make an image with such high saturation that it would be systematically explored?


By the way, two insults I just thought about and that I just hate. First one, being called a "Kid Kodak". For some reason around here, it's never a compliment.
The second came from my dad's cousin (she's never helpful or nice): "Yeah, I can buy a Kodak too."

[Jeff Warden]

I remember an insult of sorts, which was delivered by Storm King Arts Center in NY if I recall correctly.  I had lugged a Hasselblad all the way up there to be confronted with their odd photography rule.  You can take any pictures you like, with any camera, but no tripods allowed.  They seemed to be taunting me; we will grant your silly pictures, but we can't abide sharpness!

 

[Sandeha Lynch]

Of course there are occasionally clueless comments from other photographers to consider as well.  Though from a different forum, obviously.

"You need to work on your focus technique."

Err, it's a pinhole image.

[02Pilot]

I remember an insult of sorts, which was delivered by Storm King Arts Center in NY if I recall correctly.  I had lugged a Hasselblad all the way up there to be confronted with their odd photography rule.  You can take any pictures you like, with any camera, but no tripods allowed.  They seemed to be taunting me; we will grant your silly pictures, but we can't abide sharpness!

 

Storm King is a great place to shoot, but I get the impression they take themselves Quite Really Seriously. I'd suggest it's a nice place with interesting art run by pretentious tools, but then we all know there are no such people in the art world....

[lharby]

I am sure some of you know about this:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/andrerabelo/70458366

(Basically a Cartier Bresson photo that was submitted to the DeleteMe pool and garnered some hilarious responses).

My favourite comment in this thread 'Let me see a larger version and then I can tell if it is a masterpiece'.

[lharby]

And then there is this too: http://theonlinephotographer.blogspot.co.uk/2006/06/great-photographers-on-internet.html

[Iaeaix]

And who hasn't had the "you take good photos, they're sharp." Ever said to them?
And the reverse also holds true "and you call this a good picture? It's not even sharp!"

I got that very often "you take a good photo, it is sharp", and I said "you have good eyesight"


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[gsgary]

"Can you still get film"

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[Indofunk]

"Can you still get film"

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Don't we have a "stupid questions you get asked" thread for this? It's not really an insult.

[astrobeck]

I guess my biggest annoyance is being asked,
"what is that?"  while shooting a film camera or a pinhole on a tripod.

Well it's a tyrannosaurus rex...
or, "does it take good pictures?"

this is mostly why I shoot by myself in remote places with few or no people around.

[jharr]

this is mostly why I shoot by myself in remote places with few or no people around.

+1000

[Flippy]

I was hoping this would be a thread for insults only photographers would get. Such as "You're more dense than a negative that came out of camera that was accidentally opened at noon on a clear day."

[Indofunk]

I was hoping this would be a thread for insults only photographers would get. Such as "You're more dense than a negative that came out of camera that was accidentally opened at noon on a clear day."

 

[jharr]

Your mama's so fat, you need a 10mm fisheye to take her picture!

[Flippy]

...which would make her look even fatter.

[benjiboy]

"He doesn't know an f stop from a bus stop! "
"His pictures are all soot and whitewash"

[Late Developer]

"With that camera, even I could take a good photograph"

[lharby]

I was hoping this would be a thread for insults only photographers would get.

Me too, insults you could receive or DISH OUT!

[Indofunk]

"With that camera, even I could take a good photograph"

Is that insulting the photographer, the camera, or yourself?

[Late Developer]

"With that camera, even I could take a good photograph"

Is that insulting the photographer, the camera, or yourself?

It's the insult that keeps on giving.....

[lharby]

"Have you dicked about with it"?

Me wanting to know if there is any photoshopping/post production.

[Late Developer]

"Have you dicked about with it"?

Me wanting to know if there is any photoshopping/post production.

Splendid.  A wonderfully constructed question that can be used (and is used by me) in an almost infinite number of scenarios at home and at work.

[kentish cob]

And the winner is:

"Have you dicked about with it"?

Me wanting to know if there is any photoshopping/post production.