Based on the small amount of irregular paid work I do, I use the following for developing (not printing):
1) Pro-lab for E-6 and C-41 processing. They take direct instructions about processing (push/pull etc), and otherwise take the time to get consistent results. The only thing they sent out for was some K-14. I have a few in my area luckily. The expensive option.
2) Local `Color Lab`. Fuji-equipped with one of those big C-41 machines, but they know how to use it (unlike the local corner shop version). These nice folks while only developing straight C-41 on-site, also do an integral scan to CD in the machine and after being asked, will not adjust or color balance. This gives me a consistent result (as I use the same place), and allows me to post process any push, pull, balance issues myself on the PC (gasp!).
A third option a friend who shoots weddings uses, is direct color processing. She has a low volume color lab, and knows how to use it to give her the 100% control over the results she desires.
Regardless of developing source, I always have to spend time with the scanning and / or balancing of the final submissions to obtain a consistent feel to the results. This is something I think you cannot avoid, and a step that allows you to add the extra level of control & result.
My submissions are generally electronic, and printing for weddings of course adds another level of complexity. Like my friend mentioned above though, she does this herself too. With your need for prints too, the above is only the first step in your story.
Not really a full answer sorry.