Author Topic: Celebrity photographer deathmatch  (Read 1961 times)

Francois

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Celebrity photographer deathmatch
« on: October 11, 2008, 10:46:54 PM »
After the famous photographers dinner tread, I decided to go for something a lot more rough and tumble: the Celebrity Photographer Deathmatch.
Tell us about the photographers you'd like to see in a steel cage match to battle it out. All for our viewing pleasure.

So, to start this on the right track:

In the right corner, we have the king of straight photography and member of the F/64 group. Here he is, Ansel Adams.

In the left corner, we have the inventor of the Metalchrome process of selective toning. He experimented with stand development and new techniques of print masking. Creative portrait photographer from Hollywood who was called "the incarnation of the devil" by Ansel Adams... here is William Mortensen.


Ansel Adams

vs.


William Mortensen
Francois

Film is the vinyl record of photography.

db

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Re: Celebrity photographer deathmatch
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2008, 07:37:47 AM »
OK, I'll get this thread rolling...

ROUND ONE
Despite their differences, the two photographers would seem to be evenly matched. Both are meticulous craftsmen with supreme attention to their technique and methods. Both shoot with Fine Art as their main target, but that's where the similarities end. Adams' commitment to straight photography is legendary, but does that only appeal to the top-end of town? After all how many pictures of Aspens do you see on the average mechanic's workshop wall?

Adams, Art World pin-up boy, is the bookies favorite here, but perhaps Mortensen can surprise the big guy with a few low blows. Both photographers are really just dancing around each other here, throwing feints and bluffing with their opening shots. Adams tosses out a portrait, catching his opponent off-guard. ''Huh? Where did that come from? Didn't Adams just wander around in the desert with a camera the size of a house on his back?''  Ahh- but Adams is keeping his strong-suit of landscapes tucked away for the next round.

The crowd hisses and boos as Mortensen steps up. He too flicks out an innocuous portrait. The crowd Jeers! Pah- a Bromoil that looks more like a pencil sketch than a photograph. Adams grins- he thinks this will be an easy victory. But Mortensen is sneaky.. his big weapon for winning public approval is yet to be seen.

It's a trick as old as humanity itself. Always scoffed in public, but in dark corners it's the sort of image that the masses really go for- BREASTS! Yes, Mortensen really just likes photographing girls without clothes, preferably young and perky girls at that. Of course like all pictorialists, for the sake of decency he dresses them up as scenes from the classics. It's not him that is a dirty old man- Noo-oo  it was those Dutch masters that started it all.  Wait until the fellas get an eyeful of those, they'll love them.. 
http://www.josephbellows.com/artists/william-mortensen/

(edited to include this gem below, note the caption.. an ''academic study''? Righto Bill- whatever you say  ;)

or will they?
Will the The Fine Art establishment prevail? Or will popular culture and base instincts give Mortensen a slightly soiled victory?

Stay tuned for round two (anyone?)




[Sorry, image deleted during forum software upgrade. Please re-upload if so inclined.]
« Last Edit: October 14, 2008, 07:57:35 AM by db »

db

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ROUND TWO
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2008, 11:46:28 PM »
OK.. I couldn't leave the fight unfinished. I know you were all losing sleep. Like- ''who killed JR?'' or when you missed the last episode of 'Lost'

So, here's what happened.

--
Now that Mortensen has shown his true colours, Adams is really mad. He cries foul. He?s standing mid-ring glaring at Mort, his legs planted wide like a massive tri- er bipod, He has Moonrise Hernandez clenched in one hand.. but all of a sudden it's looking a bit dull and boring.

He shakes his fist and yells that art-and photography in particular- should not be brought down to the level of the bordello.

The crowd is abuzz.  :o

Mort smirks,  and asks why should the painters have all the fun? He knows what he'd rather be photographing.

Ouch- that hurt. The ref, his name was Stieglitz, pulls them apart and sends them both to their corners. Stieglitz might have famously dumped on the Pictorialists in favor of straight photography, but he did like to snap the occasional girlie himself.

Madison Square garden is in uproar. Can the ref regain control. Look, half the crowd have leaped to their feet. What's going on? Ahh it's the blokes in the audience stampeding backstage to get that girl's phone number.

Mortensen raises his fists in triumph, but nobody is listening.

The ref pulls Adams to his feet and declares him the winner. The ref knowing who pays the wages, makes sure the establishment always wins.  But  somehow it is a hollow victory...

THE END

LT

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Re: Celebrity photographer deathmatch
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2008, 08:28:39 AM »
a great read - thanks db
L.

moominsean

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Re: Celebrity photographer deathmatch
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2008, 09:06:40 AM »
kinda tough to match up a pictorialist with ansel. i love them both. i think i'd rather see a naked make-out jello wrestling match between the two.
"A world without Polaroid is a terrible place."
                                                                  - John Waters

db

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Re: Celebrity photographer deathmatch
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2008, 01:11:08 PM »
i think i'd rather see a naked make-out jello wrestling match between the two.

ewwww.  :P
I think you'll need a new commentator for that one

Ed Wenn

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Re: Celebrity photographer deathmatch
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2008, 08:31:36 PM »
Don, that was great fun. Thanks so much for sticking with it. ...it had me chuckling away at work just now in the slightly superior, "You wouldn't understand so don't ask" sort of way which I like to strap on once or twice a year.
 :D

If you fancy going at it again using the "winner stays on" rule oft employed in pool and table tennis, I saw a great interview with David Bailey where he slagged Adams off. His comment was along the lines of, "Anyone could do what he did. All you need is a large format camera and some fine grain developer."

It would seem that Bailey's own work, by contrast, involved people as subjects not static landscapes and they are - according to him - harder to work with and the results unique and unreplicatable*.

Anyway, he was being a bit ouspoken on purpose and it made me cackle with glee.

(* Do I get bonus points for adding a new word to the English language)
« Last Edit: October 16, 2008, 08:33:23 PM by ed.wenn »

Francois

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Re: Celebrity photographer deathmatch
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2008, 10:27:42 PM »
Well... why not a Bailey-Adams match...

Ladies and gentlemen! In the heavyweight category, we have:
In the left corner, renowned fashion and portrait photographer who is known for comments like "the Avant Garde has gone to Kmart"... here is David Bailey
And in the right corner, the current holder of the heavyweight title and winner of last night's matchup, Ansel Adams!

David Bailey


vs.

Ansel Adams
« Last Edit: October 16, 2008, 10:48:38 PM by Francois »
Francois

Film is the vinyl record of photography.