Halloween you say? You know what happened to me on Friday? These snotty, little monsters came to my door begging for candy!
Can't their lazy parents buy them candy? I have worked hard and earned enough to buy all the candy I want, and I can eat it whenever I want too too (because I am a grown-up). So should I be forced, by these little marxists, to give away my candy to them; the candy that I have worked so hard for and they have not?!? NO!
I just yelled at them, 'Halloween is just a socialist redistribution of chocolate!', and slammed the door in their little faces.
I spent Saturday scrubbing obscenities off my front door.
The little f*ckers can't spell either. I blame those unionized public school teachers.
(I'm John McCain and only I would approve such an assinine message.)
Sorry for the politics guys. Just trying to stay sane here.
